Two few weeks ago I was on holiday—though truth be told, it didn't feel supremely holiday-like, as I was pulled under by the wave of fatigue and anxiety I'd been riding since I got COVID a month ago. I didn't want to do a weeknotes that was just doom and gloom, so I left it; the week after was very busy but I felt like I'd finally got back on top of things after losing a lot of time and capacity to COVID and its after-effects. The upshot of that, though, is that I'd mostly just been working so not a huge amount happened. This week was similar, but I didn't want to leave another week un-noted, so.
I remember, years ago now, as a student, there was someone loosely part of my social circle who had graduated a few years prior. I found them to be unbearably dull, and I remember someone saying to me at the time: that's what happens, you get a job, you don't have as much time to be interesting and interested. I never really felt like that until the last few weeks. I don't think that's exactly where I am, but I have definitely been pushing it sufficiently hard that I feel like my bulb is dim and my edge is dull. I asked a friend who also seems to have been pushing it a bit too hard a few days ago what are you doing for you; aware that if I were to ask myself the same question the answer would be a very short one.
The difficulty is that my dayjob industry is currently undergoing an amount of upheaval, which means a lot of people offering me money to do things for them. Tom Critchlow did a blog post the other week about doing your own thing. He made the point that "trading time for money is a great economic tool. It provides you cash leverage to pursue all kinds of other things." This runs counter to a lot of the stuff you'll see online from people for whom freelancing might as well be salaried work—if you're not building you might as well be dead. Critchlow continues: "Instead, view consulting work (i.e. freelance work) as a way to stabilize cash flow, build a cash war-chest and leverage into higher order forms of consulting that are high $$ while low headspace (like sparring)" I have been trying to do the former but I think I need to dedicate more of energy to doing the latter.
Anyway, things have been happening over the last few weeks: The Fringe finished; we completed our coverage, gave out some awards, a good time had. I found the quality at last year's Fringe to be a bit spotty—I think a lot of the performers were still struggling to do in-person performances again; for many it was their first show back, but this year it was mostly very solid, we saw some absolute bangers but also plenty of stuff that was just solidly funny and enjoyable. I will have to remember for next time how exhausting it can be trying to cover a lot of shows (I don't think that helped with the COVID fatigue)!
But I have been to some other things! For the first time in years I went to a wedding reception, which was absolutely lovely. We also went to see our friends Powderpaint do a gig at local anarchist social center The Cowley Club, which was excellent. My spotless 100% Powderpaint gig attendance record remains intact.
I also had an ADHD medication review this week. My dose is getting bumped slightly, but the doctor also recommended I try not having medication the whole time—find a 'drug holiday' schedule that works for me, maybe weekends, maybe weeks I'm on annual leave, etc. This weekend I've been off my meds and boy howdy am I more distractable and desirous of high-sugar foodstuffs.
Fringe being over also meant that I've had some notionally free evenings. I have chiefly spent them doing work but I have also had at least some times where I've been able to just... not do stuff for a while, and that's been good too. Get some rest, folks.