The Bitter Withy
Our Saviour asked of his own mother dear Whether he might play at ball.
![The Bitter Withy](/content/images/size/w1200/2021/12/IMG_2662-1.jpeg)
Have you ever heard the story about how Jesus asked some posh kids to play football with him, and when they refused he murdered them by flying over a river and letting them drown when they tried to follow him? Then Mary canes him when the posh kids' mothers complain, Jesus curses all willow trees forever because she uses a willow branch, and the whole thing just explaining why willows rot from the inside? The Bitter Withy is a bit of a trip; Wikipedia describes it as "an unusual and apocryphal vernacular idea of Jesus", which is putting it lightly. It slaps, though.